Cheese! nomnomnom!

Sometimes my posts are saddening, hope those that I know won't ask me why, unless they know why I'm posting all this.
But yep, my life has taken a downturn, just cos of a close friend, a close friend which I treat her as:bestest sis, best friend, good buddy, even if I just know her for nearly 2 years.
Just realised that cos she is the closest to me, I felt like I could share all my problems and views to her, and realised that I'm getting to rely on her more and more. And in the end I realised, she don't like it. She has her stands on some problems, and I have my stand, days passed which we began to argue and quarrel, and it gets more worse till she hates me to the core, and all this is how I started to feel since the day shes acting towards me since after that incident, which is on Sat.
She started to have no mood to talk to me, but able to chat with her classmate quite well. Yes, it gets into me, is as if her classmate had just replaced me, as if she just walk out of my world, where I always am able to vent all my emotions and problems to her.
Guess I overdid it.
Things began to be more worse. In msn, when I continue to try to cheer her up, and asking her whether shes free to watch a movie with me on Wed, and hoping her mood will be alright by then, her reply really shatters me.
She will never have the mood to talk to me again.

To other people, they will sure reply, 'so be it, and I will do the same.', but...
Why can't I think that, or even say that to her?
Am I weak?
Do I lack the hatred that is needed?
Indeed, I have no hatred towards her, but I felt just a sense of deep sorrow, and yea, literally break down, after seeing what she said afterwards.
I just realised, in her view, when I state my reasons of the incident, or any other mistakes I have done, she will just said its nonsense, excuses for me to do those mistakes, and telling me not to say sorry when I don't even know what mistakes I have done.
That is why, I didn't apologise to her on Sat's incident, I'm scared. Yes, I'm scared of apologising to her, when in the past times, whenever I did something, I will apologise on the spot.
Fact: I will say sorry sincerely to anyone, especially in a sad tone or serious tone, if I realised the mistakes that I have done, and guilty or regretted it.
Fact: Though I have said sorry, theres also a high chance that the mistake will be repeated over again. Who can tell me, who dont repeat their mistakes? Maybe around 80% or more repeated it, and I'm one of them, can't be blame, its something you wish to stop but you can't at the final moment when things heat up.
Fact: First time I'm scared of saying sorry to her, I don't know why I am scared, but I just am.
Fact: I couldn't bring myself to hate her, cos I'm feeling too much sorrow instead of hate.
Fact: Yes, I can't bear for her to leave my life, cos besides her, I don't think there will be anyone who can know me that well, and to know all my problems.

Things are finally breaking apart. Its all me alone again, cos, I don't think she cared anymore, after what I've said, shes still being cold towards me, the replies, the tones.
School semester is starting on thurs, but for a reason, I think I can't pull through this without her.
Something's missing in my life.