Cheese! nomnomnom!

Been moody for some days now, just that I try hard not to let peeps see ba, be my happy go luckyself , kept joking and laughing etc hahaz.
Seriously kay, if anyone, finds my personality very retarded and stupid, and feel like throwing vulgars at me, say to me on the spot. I want to know exactly how many feels that my personality is bullshit when I'm not moody but actually happy and laughing etc. Say to me face to face or anything man.
Read, seen, heard some stuffs, well, none are +ve.
No matter what, I'm always the one that destroys/throw temper/make people feel that they are victims and think that I'm sending meaningless messages to them when I look at them in the eye. Thats not true.
So guess I should say, I've never been a victim before in my life, even when I try to tahan what z stuff people do, not letting people know whether I'm really angry or sad, and trying not showing my feelings to them unless they are close peeps of mine, they thought that I'm not tahaning, then they put themselves as victims and said how they have tahan something I did till they can't tahan anymore.

I will always be the bad guy if front of those peeps, when they didn't listen to my side of the story etc.
So what if I care or not, doesn't mean peeps I know care about me anymore.
So what if I'm waiting for peeps to sms me, doesn't mean they will sms or msn me etc anymore.
So what if I cheng qiang and all man, doesn't mean that peeps realise that I'm cheng qiang.
So what if I have these stupid emotional thingys man, I'm still a HUMAN!
Diff people diff perspectives diff personality. Can't accept then so be it.
This is my life, my story.
To think till now I still care, I don't think those peeps did, at all.
Should stop being sick right, not like anyone cares.
And those peeps that doesn't care etc, of cos, even if they read this post, they also won't sms/msn/email to me at all.
If they do, well, thats a very +ve thing, of cos, they didn't know it, since I -tend- to turn +ve things to -ve things, thats what they always say.

Advice says," Good things happen when you go for it. "
I went for it, and its not a good thing at all, I got treated as a wall for two whole hours, and suddenly I'm one of the most important people out of the 10. In what ways can I be an important person when the main char doesn't even talk to me for 2 whole hours, no thanks, not inviting me to sit at that table? And all of a sudden a cake is being shoved towards me, even when I say no thanks since I don't find any point of me eating the cake since I don't feel that I'm of any importance after the silence with the main char for 2 hours, and which I designed and bought most of it with meiling?
It should be, nah, I didn't go to the place to design or buy the cake at all, even if its far from where I lived, Meiling did everything man, give all the credits to her say thanks to her for doing everything. I didn't even pass you the present that I've bought, since I find myself being treated as a wall, till after the cake is cut and served to that 10 most important people. What does that slice of cake means exactly when you actually want to serve it to me anyways? Not that important enough, didn't talk for 2 hours, not the first few to be served, but rather, the last few, no thanks, thanks to my attitude after that 2 hours of silent treatment from the main char. Yea yea, I'm a spoiler, I don't care, I go there just to spoil the dinner due to my short temper as always. I didn't buy any presents for you, nor the designing and buying of cake, I did practically nothing but spoiling the dinner, at least due to that, its normal that you don't owe me anything, not even just one word of thanks. Thanks meiling instead though, she tried really hard.
Wow alot of repeats in the dinner part, oh well, me and my lengthy post again, and trying to act as if I'm the victim to receive sympathy. But yea, thats not me, I don't need sympathy from anyone, my personality is sucky in some people's views/opinions, so be it. But at least there are some out there who don't think that my personality sucks at all, of cos, maybe it sucks but they just don't say it.
Anyone who's fed up with my 'sudden and always' short temper behaviour just tell me, sms, msn etc, yes, even though I'm always moody nowadays, doesn't mean I will change for the better whenever I can, all I need is feedbacks on my personality, yea, my personality's gone from BAD to WORSE, I realise theres never any goodness in my personality, since people should be saying, from GOOD to BAD, but nahh, the GOOD part is skipped, I got a WORSE instead. Didn't know I can step this low hahaz.
Got a 'cheap' face as well, not innocent but cheap, and ugly personality.
To peeps who always talk to me, confirm with me whether I have a cheapskate face and ugly personality or not, cos I seriously don't find myself with that.
And to see the other posts lately compared to this, well, this is an ugly post. Showing all my ugly personality and cheapskate face.
Didn't know I can have the above sayings and make people siam from me, don't want to talk to me etc, when actually all I want is talk to them and wish they will initiate talking to me first so I know they are not angry or just kicking me out of their lives.
Nah, its diff to get that wish aint it?
Cos maybe, if they finally initiate to talk to me, I might -find myself blaming them- for not talking to me earlier etc, and they decided not to talk to me anymore.
Well, at least, that happens to one of them, I'm always the blamer, no matter what, no matter when. Always at fault. Okay ba, at least I got an outline of how my personality really is, since I don't understand myself at all.