Cheese! nomnomnom!

Reflection is coming soon:/
Suddenly I don't look forward to itx.x
I realized that I didn't improve at all since the past few weeks.
Literally flunk during practice today, Ronald kept focus towards me and saying stuff like, not able to play dizi well, play like a child hahaz. Yep, when I failed playing the high 6 note continuously for A major, it distracted and affected my mood, making me unable to continue the song for afew secs, since I still can't get used to translating D major notes to A major in which I started practicing since last week. High 6 for A and F major is a pain, haiz. Died for jiang jun ling as well, can't quite grasp and understand how and what Ronald wanted me to do. Something about relaxing and controlling breath to spread the sound around the room. Tried afew times, and when he kept insisting and telling me to relax and play the notes, he got me more tense up instead, in the end he gave up hahaz.
Yes I can try to imitate how he plays the notes and all through fingering etc, but when comes to afew particular techniques or something, its not something which can be copied and all.
Felt that he put too much high hopes and expectations for me, like thinking I can get at least a merit or high chance a distinction for my exam. So far, still can't play yang bian smoothly due to afew more improvements he wanted me to do, haven even play the whole song of gu su xin, and I haven play the exam's practice piece for him at all.
2 more months, not much time left.
Been demotivated since last week due to unforseen circumstances, finding that I'm just a slow learner in most aspects.
Sigh, whats the use of practicing and trying to improve when I don't have the motivation..?

I have a feeling, that Ronald will be very disappointed in me.